Last week, our social worker and security head talked to us about gender violence. At home, I’d often go to discussions on topics like this; professors and guest speakers would talk about Africa and poverty and AIDS and human rights, and I’d be there, taking it in, blood boiling from all the injustices throughout the world, wondering why these things are still happening, why it seems like even worse things continue to happen. Aren’t we supposed to learn from our mistakes? Isn’t it common sense and only human to think of all people equally, be they women, children, black, white, rich, poor?
The thing about common sense is that it’s not so common.
Here’s the thing about gender violence. It’s everywhere, it affects everyone, and it is going to take huge shifts in all aspects of society to change it.
In Zambia, gender violence is very real. Come spend some time at the hospital and see for yourself. After a few assault and rape cases, impressed with these women for coming forward, even contacting the police, I am left wondering just how many more are in the community, afraid to come for help, afraid of losing everything.
Gender violence, and I’m not just talking about physical assaults, seems to be “built into society and culture” (words from our social worker). I’ll give you some examples of the male dominance of Zambian society.
Education: Exam standards and requirements are higher for boys than girls. This reinforces a stereotype that boys are more intelligent and work harder, and more is expected of them. They will expect more of themselves, and push themselves to reach that set point, whereas girls are expected to do less well, and don’t expect to reach high results, and won’t push themselves as hard. I see this in our nursing school – the number of boys is higher or equal to that of girls (even though national guidelines say to favour girls). More boys apply, and with higher marks. I asked one of the tutors about this and his reply? “Boys just have that drive, they try harder.”
Bride Price: When a man wants to marry a woman, he goes to the woman’s family and negotiates a fair ‘price’. Typically, this has been in terms of cattle, but has more recently moved to a cash payment. Though this is traditionally to be viewed as an exchange for the family's loss of the bride's labour, etc, it has the effect as labelling women as 'commodities', a good owned by the husband.
Polygamy is common. Here, there is a discrepancy between national and ‘traditional’ law. More than one wife is okay by traditional law, whereas it is considered bigamy by national law. This is one of many discrepancies between national and traditional law, and these inconsistencies lead to a lot of bureaucracy, which pretty much makes both laws pointless. Anyways, men will often look for a second wife (“to help the first wife” they say), and this new wife becomes the spoiled one, whereas the first wife is basically a slave. If you are poor and unemployed and have the chance to marry someone who can support you while another woman does most of the work, why not?
Reporting assaults and rapes: Will it change anything? Better question: will it make things worse?
1. Police and victim services are often ineffective in these areas. There is an example of a mother who terminated a pregnancy and died. Lots of people came forth to testify, saying they knew the one (healer) who does this (it’s happened before), where he stays, etc. The police were told, but nobody followed up; the excuse from the police being that the woman is dead and cannot be a witness, so there is no evidence…
2. If a woman is poor and unemployed, and she reports her husband (and something is actually done about it), who will look after her and the children? She is in a very subservient position, with little power and no voice.
There was a situation in which a 14 year old girl came to the hospital to deliver. She was married. After the baby was born, the question came up – should the husband be charged? She isn’t of legal age, this is considered “defilement”, yet the girl told them not to arrest him, they were happy. I don’t know the outcome of this one, but I do know how it would have ended if this weren’t Zambia. A 14 year old mother!
There are many other smaller things that demonstrate and promote female inferiority -distribution of household chores and farm work, men eat first and inside at the table while women and children eat last and outside in the kitchen, a woman is expected to follow her husband in every way, and is taught at a very young age how to please and serve him. A nursing officer just spoke to me today about which church I attend. When I mentioned that my husband’s family is Anglican, she said, “Then you should also be Anglican, you should follow your husband.” I explained that we have found our own church together – she seemed okay with that, though a bit confused.
Included in the entrance forms for the Midwifery School here is permission slip – to be signed by the student’s husband, granting her permission to pursue higher education.
A Zambian work permit has provision for the bearer’s wife (not ‘spouse’ or ‘husband’), and even has extra pages for additional ‘wives’.
There are many things that need to change to bring about gender equality and an end to gender discrimination and violence, the issue is very big. A lot of changes need to happen in term of policy, and unfortunately, most governments throughout the world only care about making their voters happy… and Zambians go to the polls later this year.
As with everything, it all begins with a shift in thinking and a shift in attitudes. And, as Mrs. Seya keeps telling me, “Attitudes are the hardest thing to change”.
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